Catching up with a beautiful friend for Chai, I
'What! Isn't part of personal growth about having a vision and aligning with that vision each day or every now and again to create the energy and momentum to create it!?!!' :-) My thoughts exactly! But when I started to see the picture of my future starting to fall away literally like a picture falling apart from the bottom up, I started to question my entire reality and a story that I had been buying into. One, that moving forward, I didn't want anymore.
You see, over the last few months, I’ve
It's definitely a transition stage at the moment and yes, vision for our future is important and I do believe it is a part of the process of growth. To think there is more for us then what we've been lead to believe by our parents, society and the environment around us. To have space to ask the bigger questions ‘Who the hell am I? What am I here to do? What is my part to play here?’ Great questions, but I can see how it can be easy to get caught up in it, caught up in this future of why we are here... rather than just being here... in the present moment.
So I find myself undoing my future and it feels really good. Sometimes I feel like I get little insights into a deep
I found myself saying to my friend in my observation of myself and this growth mindset is that we ultimately seek to simply not seek. Crazy that. I have certainly felt this in my life but now find myself back-pedaling to not seek (although I know I will again, probably tomorrow LOL ;-) ).
What I'm finding this is doing is undoing the connection to my future visions which is removing the expectations of who I need to be so I can more easily connect with who I am now. In simplicity, the freedom from the expectations that I have put on myself. Give me some of that any day!
What this means is that I have more energy available now to work with, more awareness to build a more loving, gentle and nurturing inner relationship and for that to be enough without having to ‘be’ anything. Such a relief!
I do find it interesting because it goes against so much of what is being said out there in the growth space ‘have a big vision, a big goal, sense into your future!’ Believe me I had played in this space and gorgeous things do come from it. But at this current phases I'm in, what I'm finding now is the more I release my future, the more my future wants to embrace me.
The more I release my future, the more my future wants to embrace me
I think the truth is I'm simply letting go of an old pattern running in me. I truly want to embrace being ok without needing to know my future. To not fix my future... let it be dynamic and open.
It's all cyclical phases and there is no right or wrong, there only is what we need to go through. So yes having a vision is great but the point of this post is to also allow ourselves to release a future that no longer serves us. To release ourselves from any expectations that we have put on ourselves. 'If I become this future self, will I feel more worthy?' For me, if the answer is yes, then I don't want this future. This future creates 'efforting' and I don't want efforting.
So what is the driver that creates our future dreams and visions? Is it from a lack of self worth or a deeper knowing? Can we trust the process or do we need to hold onto it tightly or identify with it too much?
I choose to release it, to open up the energy, to trust in something bigger and to bring a little more play into the everyday ;-)